First we had each other, then we had you. Now we have everything.
For most people finding out about a pregnancy an exciting moment, something to capture in a picture or create a vlog post about. We’ve all seen those YouTube videos of teary eyed mothers-to-be showing the whole world the plastic tube they had just gracefully peed with the expectation that we would find the two lines just as magical as they did. Well, in my case, falling pregnant was one of the scariest moments in my life even though I was financially stable and traveling the world out of boredom. Being a young professional in the banking industry working specifically for an international organisation, one of my biggest concerns was falling too far behind my peers, or creating my own glass ceiling. I found myself wondering if my bosses would stop putting my name forward for short term assignments, or if I would be perceived as just another baby-maker who fell off a well defined trajectory. It is almost taboo to even consider working mothers as such, but every woman who has been in the industries dominated by males knows that this s indeed something we need to handle with care.
I only remember fragments of the night I found out that I was growing a little human inside me, the most notable being my husband Nuno’s response when I told him. Being the emotional one of the two, my concerns came out in short and dramatic comments like “my career is over”, “our lives will never be the same again” and our personal favourite, “there is a spawn growing inside me”. Looking back I know for sure that he too had his concerns, but it was his calm levelheaded nature that brought sense into me. He pointed out that we are both educated, working adults, madly in love and ready for anything. For all the men out there, I need to address this right now… You can never tell a hormonal woman something and expect her to accept it. The best method is to lead her thoughts to the right conclusion and affirm her words so that it is her decision and you are being supportive
In my situation, Nuno could have said everything I needed to hear and yet all the uneasiness would not have gone away. We were not only still getting to know each other, but the love of my life and I were living in two completely different countries with very different personal goals. I knew he meant every word of assurance but neither of us could deny the bumpy road ahead.
It took a few weeks for the idea to fully settle in, with the tadpole “spawn” evolving to the cute lemon sized “Spawny” and then the little soccer baby kicking my ribs each time I lay down for the night. I must say the beauty of being married to such a lovely soul is his ability to change something negative into a funny anecdote that we can tell our grandchildren one day. Today, we still refer to Gabby as Spawn and this name will forever remain. Spawny, our first love, is now a fundamental part of our lives which have definitely changed for the better.
Dineo Moalusi says
What a beautiful story Michelle! You and Nuno are such amazing parents that one wouldn’t believe the early stages of your pregnancy were filled with uncertainty and fears. You’d swear you guys have always been prepared for this role!
I cannot echo Dineo sentiments.
I remember sitting outside the dealing room for hours trying to calm u down and encourage you that all will work out.Today you are the most amazing mom Gabby is one little lucky Spawn 😉
Awww. I worked in advertising and I was just starting my career. I feel you. But even though we become a hormonal hot mess and uncertain of our future as women, as a couple, and so many other things, what is truly certain is the blessing our little ones are in our lives. 🙂
Shelly DS says
You truly are an inspiration! Thank you for taking the time to go through my posts and give feedback. It’s great to know that a lot of relatable so I know I’m not an alien lol. You seem to have so much experience to share!
Awww. I love to read other parents’ experiences too and find out I’m not alone. You are doing great and ypur desire for thriving in life will set a marvelous example for your little one. Keep it up and let’s stay strong! 🙂
I can’t imagine anything more relatable. I haven’t called my son growing inside me as a spawn, but I knew for sure that life isn’t going to be the same any more. And it isn’t actually. But, although I have pictured the worse scenarios in my head and lived them every day, it turned out that it isn’t as bad as it seemed. I wouldn’t have changed it for anything in the world!
By the way, I really like the way you write 🙂
Shelly DS says
Thank you so much for reading Daria 😊 I’ve been told I’m dramatic so maybe the spawn thing is evidence 🙈. I think as humans we just aren’t used to change~