Juggling Motherhood, Marriage, a Full Time Job … and a Blog

It has been just a little over two months since my blog went live, and it has… wait what? Only two months? Sorry, I got a little bit side tracked for a second. These past nine weeks have flown by quite quickly and while so much has happened in such a short amount of time, your girl has definitely experienced some personal and professional growth. One big question that people keep asking is where I find the time to create content while juggling all of the other responsibilities in my life. So instead of responding to each individual person, I decided to gather my thoughts, analyse my approach and put it all in writing. If you are an equally compromised mommy looking to fit in some writing, I’ve got you! These are the few things that have helped me stay sane while still be emotionally and physically present for my family, job and social responsibilities.

  1. Write only when the inspiration hits

If you are anything like me then I’m pretty sure there will be days that you won’t want to get out of bed, let alone open up your laptop to start typing. Don’t worry, that is completely normal… or at least I assume it is! It is perfectly fine to have bouts of inspiration followed by long periods of writer’s block, or ‘whatever-you’re-trying-to-fit-into-your-life’ block (try saying that ten times, really fast!) What is really important is to take advantage of the times that you have your bursts of energy to get through as much as possible so that when the rainy days hit, you’re well stocked in your cosy corner. For me, that usually means speaking into the recorder on my phone if driving, jotting down some notes if I’m busy or scribbling on the notepad app on my phone when seated on the loo (shhh!). Other times, like today, I sit and write as many posts as my heart- and toddler- allows because I know that the week will be a bit busy.

2. Read, proof read and then re-read every single post

When my blog went live, it had 6 posts that I had thrown together as very rough drafts. I’m not sure if it was all the excitement or the urge to get everything launched by the end of May, but I ended up publishing the not so carefully written posts. The week after all my friends had gone through the site and politely praised my potential, I found quite a few grammatical errors, incomplete sentences and redundancies. Was it worth the rush? Absolutely! In hindsight I most likely would have taken more time to perfect the grammatical side of the blog before making it public, but as my husband has kindly pointed out, you learn from your mistakes. His advice to me going forward is to finish writing and close off for the day, then revisit my masterpiece on a different day when I am in a completely different mood. What this has taught me is that when that writing persona comes out, she may not necessarily be conveying the message clearly … or at all! I’ve also learnt that it is very hard to spot mistakes when you do everything in one sitting. Why is all of this relevant, you ask? Well, some bloggers are able to churn out new material several times a day, but as a mommy blogger, it takes a few days of occasionally skimming what I’ve written in between my toddler’s bed time and my evening herbal tea for me to ‘okay’ something for publishing.

3. Spending time with the family is more important

So here’s the thing, I’m a mommy blogger writing about life as a young, millennial, working mom. If I don’t actually do my job or spend time with my family, what exactly will I write about? My husband helped me very early on to realise that I don’t have to post something every day since this blog was created in my recreational capacity. What that means is that when something interesting pops into my mind, it goes down on paper and gets left alone until a more convenient time. I have several drafts saved up for those busy weeks but none of them were ‘built in a day’, so to speak. I find it very easy to get lost in something once I start and I have vowed to never put my blog above my family. So when spawn asks for my hand, I close the laptop, hop on all fours and let her ride on my back like a good horse mommy does.

4. If it is feeling stressful, close the laptop and relax

This is one that I struggled with initially but have managed to improve significantly. Writing is my passion, something I was born to do even though I chose a different professional path. So if I’m already stressed out from a long day of dealing with corporate clients, why on earth would I sit down and allow the writing to stress me out as well? Believe it or not, there are days when my free time is saved for a Netflix binge of Queen of the South, other times it is spent on the floor, crawling around the house after a busy toddler. I learnt that it is really important to put everything into perspective (kind of like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) and focus on what is absolutely important before dealing with the rest. What this means for me is that I will feed and bathe my toddler even when I don’t feel like it and regardless of how much stress it is causing because that is priority number one. I will also show up to work because that pay check at the end of the month is essential, but I will not meet with friends or write if my anxiety is begging for a time out.

5. Write about what you love, there will always be a niche for it

Quite a significant amount of advice I’ve seen online is that you need to find a niche, understand what they need and write helpful posts in order to have a relevant online presence (#influencerstatus). That may be accurate for anyone looking to make a living off their work, but for someone like me who just does this for fun, there is no pleasure in only writing what I think others want to hear. What works for me is to write about things that I am experiencing or things that I love and while it does not bring in any money (for now), it definitely is therapeutic and adds immense value to my life. That for me is priceless! I’ve actually played around with the idea of writing a book which I will self publish, but even if I don’t, I will be satisfied knowing that there is at least one book in the world that speaks to me. Guys, it doesn’t always have to be about money.

Hopefully that answers a few questions! Drop a comment below and let me know if you are also juggling the world but still managing to fit in some time for your passion.

34 Comments Add yours

  1. beth says:

    you’ve got it exactly right

    Like

  2. Krisna says:

    Shelly, you are an amazing writer and Im rooting for you and that book that one day will have Michelle Da Silva’s name on it. ✌️

    As a mom blogger, I couldn’t agree with #3 more! I mentioned it before — mom blogger means I am a mom first. So the needs of my family especially my baby comes first before the blog. I only write in the mornings when little one is still asleep or at night when he’s finally in bed. When he naps, then I do the chores. Otherwise, baby definitely got mama’s attention all day. 👩‍👦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Gosh Krisna, every comment, message and wave you give really gives me the warm fuzzies! I’m glad you are spending lots of time with your peanut, they really do grow quickly and a blog will never give you the love your child will! He’s got a wonderful mom 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Krisna says:

        I’m glad to hear that. I’m not just saying that though, I really believe it!👌
        Aw thanks. And thats so true, I always tell myself that my kid needs me more than my blog does. 🙂

        Like

  3. You are sooo right on all of these points! Love this, thank you for sharing. I’ve had to close the laptop many times since starting this blogging gig.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Hahaha as moms we’ve gotta find ways to make it work, but that definitely doesn’t mean every day or for hours every day. I’m soooo guilty of prescheduling my posts sometimes weeks in advance just so I can spend time with the family. Have you ever gotten your laptop confiscated for being on it too much?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes! My husband yells at me all the time
        To put my devices away when I’m doing blog stuff 😬😬

        Like

  4. Hilary Tan says:

    Only two months? Wow! I would have never guessed… you made some excellent points. Yes, write when the inspiration strikes rather than feeling like you need to write. I was supposed to post something today but it’s my birthday. I can always post tomorrow! 🌻🌻

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Oooooh exciting! Happy birthday Hilary! Any special plans?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hilary Tan says:

        I don’t really have anything planned for today. I booked an apt later this week for a therapeutic floating session which I’ve always wanted to try! My mom sent me sunflowers which was a surprise, and the coffee shop down the street gave me a free drink and donut, which I wasn’t expecting. As a kid, I hated surprises. As an adult, I love them! 😊💕

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Shelly DS says:

        That’s brilliant! Do let me know how the floating session goes. I’ve never heard of it till now! I think as adults we appreciate the simpler things in life 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hilary Tan says:

        I just went to the floating session and it did not disappoint. Super relaxing but was hard for me to relax for 75minutes. I learned that I’m bad at meditating lol my skin is soft and smells amazing now. I would definitely go back! 🙂

        Like

  5. justcalmwildness says:

    These are really good points. I have been learning to write only about what I love and that my blogs are supposed to be for me before they are for anyone. Thank you for this.💗💗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      I’m so glad you read and enjoyed it! I absolutely love those blogs that always have good “how to” content and are literally made as though they’re watching my every move, but practically it is harder to do something like that if you’ve got other things on your plate. And also, writing about what you love is a niche in itself!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. PoojaG says:

    I totally agree with the stuff you mentioned. I particularly loved what you said about writing when the inspiration hits because if you force yourself you’re just going to end up burnt out and blogging will no longer be fun. I also think having a multi-niche blog helps because than you don’t have to stick to one topic you can pretty much write about what you want at that time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Thanks for reading! You’re def killing it as a multi niched blogger 😊

      Like

  7. I love this post! It did so much for me ! I’ll admit that I was having mini episodes of insecurities due to “ being too tired” to write, or sometimes my mind just goes blank, or I feel like I’m thinking too hard and stressing myself out and—wow—now I see I’m not the only one and I shouldn’t discredit what I love doing or what I am , because after all, it’s normal! It’s okay to not feel at our best. We are entitled to that. I know that now thanks to you ! Also, writing out of inspiration—yes! Anytime that I am in that mood , my words, my thoughts, my feelings and emotions, all flow right out of me so beautifully and effortlessly and thus, making me happy. Oh and what you said about writing for yourself and not necessarily for others—same! Although I hope that others feel, enjoy, understand and read my writing, if they don’t, it’s okay! It’s okay because it still did a lot for me. I write from my heart, from my puzzling mind, and with a passion! So I will always be proud of my stuff 🙂 You are an amazing writer , an amazing blogger, you are empowering, and I love your family! You’re an inspiration and one of the sweetest souls ever. Thank you for this ! – Denisse, sweetesthustler 🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Thanks for reading missy! I think every single human that does what they love gets burnt out at times! If that happens, take a break and come back stronger! The way you write so much I thought you literally spend all your free time writing! Lol but the passion that’s in your words def must come from a place you don’t show too often 😉
      Thanks for all your compliments, but like you I have my moments of self doubt.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re so very welcome! I love reading and engaging with you. You’re a light of positivity! 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I think you should adopt the use of apps like grammarly to check for errors and you could download a voice to text app in order to churn out content more often. Ah, I’m currently juggling nothing with my blog except living. LOL. Thanks in advance for the tips Shelly, I know what to do when I get busy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Hahaha trust me, before I had so many responsibilities I used to struggle just getting out of bed. You learn as you go 😅 thanks so much for reading 💖 I will definitely try out your suggestions because once the pandemic passes and my job says we’ve gotta be back in the office, I have no clue how I will continue blogging!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Glad to hear that. I’ve also recently nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award in a post. Congrats Shelly!

        Like

  9. VeraYanney says:

    I love this !! I do all of these. It’s quite hard to write on topics outside ones niche . At least for me it is! I also find myself questioning if the quotes I leave on my social media platform aligns to my niche. I tend to give inspirational quotes a lot but I stand to wonder what that has to do with motherhood . Lol All the time I say people love it but does this make me disorganized? Thanks for putting this in writing .

    Like

  10. Rida J says:

    Great advice. As a newly blogging mom it does get tough and I feel guilty either way. Whether I don’t blog and I want to, or I do blog and don’t spend that time with my family. Balance is key.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Lol I completely understand and agree with you… but what is this ‘balance’ thing you speak of? 😛

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Rida J says:

        Lol exactly. There’s no right formula. We all have to find what works through trial and error ❤️

        Like

  11. I am struggling and I ain’t got any kids. Too many distractions and this hot weather in London right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This is all so very true! The very first point spoke to me the most. When I first started my blog I put pressure on myself to post something once a week (which started becoming stressful and no longer fun) and then I realized there were weeks where I just couldn’t think of what to write about. I have now decided to only write when the inspiration hits whether that’s once a week or once a month.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      If posting on schedule is really important, then the inspiration hits try to get as much done as possible so you can tap into your drafts on a rainy day. Otherwise, keep at the way you’re going. As a reader, it would def be evident if you wrote begrudgingly and I wouldn’t want that for either you as a writer or me as a reader 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  13. mymommyheartblog says:

    These are really good points! Thank you so much for sharing. Puts everything in the right perspective, was exactly what I needed to hear this week.

    Like

  14. You have done an excellent job at singling out the most important points. It is so true that writing about what you love is the best way to go. It is so much fun to write about one’s passion.

    Like

  15. Toni B says:

    Great stuff! I love to write about my experiences. It’s easier that way for me, and I love to share my experiences with others. I hope that those things that I’ve done (both good and bad), will help someone else!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Thanks for reading Toni 🙂 I do think that there is always 1 person who will be helped even if it isn’t a “5 reasons why” or a “10 things to know” kinda post. Be you and share your experiences… I find those to be more genuine and relatable.

      Like

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