Positivity

Hi friends,

Today’s post will be slightly different partly because I’m on leave and feel like having an informal sit down but also because I am doing something right now that I think can benefit us all. It was mental health week at some point this year, but I’m sure you can guess by the fact I don’t quite remember the dates how little I care for it. Well it’s definitely not for the reasons that you think. You see, to me mental health week happens 52 times a year. We can’t have special awareness days or weeks then return to our old ways until the next one. Can you imagine how frustrated and unpleasant we would be if caring for our well being wasn’t a daily priority? Every day should be intentional, every hour should bring self awareness, and every minute should be embraced. In light of the mental health life that we should be living, let’s do something a little different.

I have a few questions to ask you and hope that you will be open and honest. If you feel comfortable, please do post your answers in the comment section, but if not I still urge you to answer these questions for yourself. Before we continue, please grab a pen and paper… not your phone, because we need to something a little drastic once it’s over.

Here we go:

  1. When was the last time you spoke positively about yourself?
  2. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and smiled at your reflection?
  3. How often do you block off some time to pamper yourself or do something you love? (yes, exercise counts)
  4. If you were told that today is your last day to live, can you honestly say that you have made sure those that you love are aware of how important they are to you?
  5. Have you been restricting food that you enjoy or not worn something you like because of how you will look?

Here comes the weird part: leave a huge space and write down 5 things that you hate about yourself and your life.

Now please rip off the bottom section, grab a lighter and burn it up because there is no room for negativity in a positive life. Take it from me, you cannot be happy until we truly let go of everything holding you back.

Here are my answers 🙂

  1. I last spoke positively about my body on Sunday.
  2. I looked in the mirror yesterday and smiled because my hair looked messy – not in a bad way, I liked that I could look messy around hubby and still feel cute.
  3. I last blocked some time for my exercise on Monday, but I will make sure to swim this afternoon.
  4. My people know I love them 🙂 a little too much maybe!
  5. I have been living in sweats and yoga pants lately because nothing else fits… but I’m ok with that.

The burnables:

I’m anxious. I’m scared to try new things. I get nervous when I speak to people. I hold myself back for fear of rejection. I don’t believe in my own capabilities.

Time to turn over a new leave… Burn baby burn!

31 Comments Add yours

  1. Lovely post dear.
    1. I never use to that earlier but now I feel that I need to be positive about myself and start appreciating myself more.
    2. Haha all the time.
    3. I try pampering myself but sometimes I get stuck with all my clg work and don’t get the time to do so.
    4. Haha maybe as everyone around me, the people who are important to me, they truly know that I love them.
    5. Never because I just love food and I eat whatever I like and wear the clothes what I am comfortable in.

    Thanks for sharing this amazing post. Take care and stay safe. 😊🥰🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Thanks for sharing Anjali 😊 make sure you set aside even 10 minutes every day just to love yourself and do something you enjoy~ 💖

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure dear. Yupp sure dear I will try. Thank you so much. Enjoy your weekend. 😊🥰😄

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Jane Tawel says:

    I can relate to your answer that my “people” know I love them “perhaps a little too much”. That is an interesting thing for me to think about today, because my children are grown and my husband is, well, his very own self , and my extended family take without giving (if that makes sense) and I wonder if my love for them all now is often shown in ways that are really about my not loving myself enough? I am going to meditate on this today so I thought I’d share where your questions took me in particular. Thank you, Shelly, as always for insight and thoughtfulness, Jane

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Thanks for sharing Jane! Loving is never a bad thing unless of course it means you are taking out of your cup to fill someone else’s. Yes there’s sacrifice, compromise and whatever but I personally think that you can’t really love someone unless you love yourself first 💖 I hope your reflection helps add more to your cup without reducing what you’ve given to your loved ones 😊

      Like

  3. Interesting post, you got me thinking. My brain is very forgetful. To get the benefits of doing positive things you have to do them regular.

    Like

  4. Hilary Tan says:

    1. Anxiety and stress is bad and I’ve hit burnout, so I’m quite negative these days. I’m worried about a lot of things and can’t stop worrying.
    2. I don’t like my smile so I try to avoid mirrors. I’m very self-conscious about my smile and my body. I try to avoid ppl as much as possible or hide behind scrubs and a mask.
    3. I started treating myself more but now my motivation to do work has decreased. Why do work I don’t wanna do when I can treat myself to ice cream instead? One daily treat I go for is orange pekoe tea which I often have in the morning or at night.
    4. Honestly I often wish I wasn’t on this planet because life is tough mentally, physically, and emotionally… I used to count down the days I had left on this earth. I don’t fear old age or natural death but I do fear instant death.
    5. The crop top fashion craze (and instagram) made me feel worse about my body. I can’t wear them and am constantly reminded of that. I miss the days where ppl wore leggings and hoodies.

    I can’t look in the mirror and try to convince myself that I’m beautiful when I know I’m not. All of my answers are quite negative which reflects the quality of my mental health these days. 😕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Thanks for sharing Hilary ❤ Your answers are negative, but I can guarantee that you are not the only one who answered those negatively. It's really important to take each day at a time and truly appreciate the small joys/achievements despite how minor they seem. And when there are none, it's our chance to create them. If you want the ice cream, have it and enjoy every last bit of it. If you want to sleep in, do it. but for every treat, try to do something that you KNOW is good… for me that means I eat pizza whoever I want because I exercise quite intensely. I challenge you to ask your husband to describe how he sees your smile and your body – but please really listen when he answers. Perspective is a very strange thing. On the other stuff, we'll chat offline ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hilary Tan says:

        What’s interesting is how our mindsets affect the way we answer these questions. You’re a lot more positive and answered the questions positively, where my mindset is $hit this days which thus, greatly played a role in the way I answered the same questions.

        My husband bought me a drink from Starbucks. I didn’t ask for it – he surprised me with it, so I can’t complain. I’m currently working on a bunch of midterm document things that are a huge pain. There’s a lot of resistance to get them done. It’s taking me a very long time b/c I like to go above and beyond when completing assignments.

        My husband says he has no issues with my smile even though I hate my smile. He says he doesn’t care about things like that, but what’s interesting is that he notices things like weight. He’s not skinny himself so he has no right to judge. Lately I’ve been losing weight due to stress. It was once the COVID-15 but now I think it’s more like the COVID-7. I was sedentary until I started clinical shifts where I’m on my feet for 12hrs at a time. That’s the only thing I like about clinical – there’s no need for a gym!

        Like

  5. My answers:

    1. Last weekend because I reached the weight-loss goal I sat at the beginning of 2020.
    2. A couple of days ago.
    3. Daily
    4. No but I think those that really matter know it.
    5. No. I’m not disciplined enough to give up foods I love. That’s why it took me 8 months to lose 10 pounds. LOL And, I wear clothes that feel good!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Congratulations on reaching your goal!! I kinda went the opposite direction so it amazes me to know that people are able to reach their targets with this pandemic happening 😅 you are such a breath of fresh air!

      Like

  6. I answered those questions, and although I won’t post them here as some of it is quite personal and sensitive I love this blog post! Especially about when you said about mental health week. Even I don’t knw and care about when mental health week is, mental health is important on a daily basis, and not just for one week only! Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Shelly DS says:

      I’m so happy you did the exercise Niraj! The next step is to see what needs to be fixed and do it~ I hope you have a lovely weekend 😊

      Like

      1. You too! Btw I sent you an email so have a look when you can 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  7. PoojaG says:

    1. I thought something positive about myself this morning
    2. I can’t remember when I smiled at myself last but I need to do it more often!
    3. Fifteen minutes a day I meditate because I love doing it.
    4. Yes, I hope I have been as loving as possible.
    5. I used to not wear crop tops but I do now because I have started caring a lot less about what others think of me.

    I hate how socially awkward I am, I hate my forehead, I hate my stretch marks, I hate that I procrastinate, I hate how anxious I get before speaking in public, I hate that I don’t manage my time better.

    This was such a great exercise thank you for this!

    Like

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Thanks so much for participating Pooja. The more I learn about you the more I realise how similar we are! I hope you burnt the last part because all of that can easily be seen as positive. You are unique and that’s what makes you special 💖

      Liked by 1 person

      1. PoojaG says:

        Yeah we really are very similar people! I did and it felt good to let go of that negativity.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. annmary0723 says:

    hey! I nominated you for Liebster Award 😄 check out in my last post to see the details 🥰

    Like

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Oh wow thanks so much hun! I really appreciate it 💖

      Like

  9. (01) Last Friday. I tend to be self-deprecating and very self-critical on the daily, but deep down I secretly know that I am capable, have potential, and am moving towards the qualities I want to embody.
    (02) Two weeks ago. I put on a navy suit for the first time since COVID, and felt like I could take on the world.
    (03) Every night, with my skincare routine & listening to music.
    (04) No, I struggle to show emotion, I’m relatively closed off. My favourite people definitely know that they mean a lot to me, but it’s an implicit understanding from my actions opposed to my words.
    (05) Well, I can’t live without butter chicken. But since gyms have been closed, I’ve put wearing certain clothes off until I can get back to being somewhat fit.

    The burnables:

    I sometimes only realise the value of something until it’s gone forever. I put too much effort into things that have no future. I have close to a zero work-balance. I put my dreams and passions on hold in the pursuit of my career aspirations. I focus on my ideal future so much that I often lose sight of the goodness in the present.

    Like

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Thanks so much for sharing! You sound like you’re doing quite well in the self love department! Saying you love someone isn’t as important as showing them, so I wouldn’t be too concerned. Let me know how life after burning the negativity goes 😉 and yes, you WILL tell me haha

      Like

  10. dessertflower5 says:

    I loved this post. For some your questions you asked I could not find answer to. It was very a self evaluating read. Thankyou for sharing. By the way loved your answers❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      So glad you found it useful 😊 thanks for stopping by 💖

      Like

  11. The Wild Pomegranate//Abi says:

    Really great exercise in self-love and self-care! Love the final part…so cathartic and apropos for me with advent of the Jewish New Year and the start of Yom Kippur tonight. 🙏

    Like

    1. Shelly DS says:

      Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing kind words 😊 Happy New Year! I had no idea that the Jewish New Year was so early!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Anna says:

    I love this blog post! What a creative exercise as well, it really makes you think!

    Like

  13. Daria says:

    Great post, like always.
    1. Well, that’s the hard one. But I’ve gotten better with it recently 😉
    2. I do this all the time. I look at my imperfections and I smile, as they are like souvenirs of my life. The huge scar on my knee, when I have fallen from my bike as a child; dark bags under my eyes proving that I spend enough time with my son; and my caesarian scar which is the signature my son left on my tummy when he was born. I used to feel unsecured about all that, but now I understand that they are holding memories which built me the way I am now.
    3. I am trying to do so every day. At least for half an hour. A couple of chapters of the book, writing my blog posts or a quick run.
    4. I’m sure they would.
    5. Definitely not. My everyday choice is a pair of sweat pants and a blouse. Just for comfort. Clothes aren’t making me who I am 😉

    By the way, thank you for the great game and useful exercise at the same time 🙂

    Like

  14. What a nice exercise. I hope you are feeling refreshed and bright after this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelly DS says:

      I am thanks 😊 Did you try it?

      Like

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