At thirty years old, I finally identify as an adult. Yes, you read that right… It took a long decade for me to come to terms with the fact that I was no longer a teen, despite not feeling like a grown-up. However, looking back, there are so many reasons why I never really felt like I had crossed over.
Whether or not you are an avid Hallmark movie-binger, I am certain there are a few things you envisioned about adulthood that weren’t quite portrayed correctly. After all, we are all dreamers. So if you haven’t crossed that line yet, don’t fall prey to the illusion. Let me share some things that I have found to be not so exciting and hopefully prepare you for that aha (or ugh-ugh) moment that is sure to come.
Living in your own house is the ultimate dream
Whether you buy a house or choose to rent, living away from the bird’s nest is definitely something exciting. I remember living under my father’s roof and longing for the day that I would be able to decorate my house to my liking. Those old-school figurines he had on the tables would not be replicated in my fort. Those extravagant, black-out drapes were to be replaced with very subdued and minimal, sheer curtains. Ah, and the kitchen would not be hidden away in the back of the house. Rather, it would be open to the living areas so that my kids could help me cook as we watched cartoons.
Such a dream to look forward to.
Fast forward a few decades, several apartments and a kid later, I got my wish. My house is designed and decorated to my liking and everything reflects my character. But the cleaning and maintenance come at a price.
Living alone is fun until you have to clean up after yourself. If something breaks, your parents aren’t going to fix it. If your house gets an infestation, you’re going to have to figure it out. Hopefully, you have the funds to back you up!
Being an adult means working a real job
If you live in the US, you probably started earning cash quite early in life either babysitting, cutting grass, or working part-time in a store. While those are real jobs, the greatest appeal of being a grown-up is actually getting a job that gives you medical aid, gives you enough to pay rent and buy some fancy things.
I remember being fifteen years old and yearning for some income. I was under the illusion that it would be fun and give me some independence. Well, luckily for me, I only got my first gig as a waitress at twenty, then three years later I was fully immersed in corporate.
So how do I like working a ‘real’ job now?
Well, let’s just say that payday is lovely. Bonuses are bliss… but the actual hours? Doing your taxes? Dealing with office politics? Losing your personal freedom? Yeah… no. Now that I have dipped my toes, knees and body into this working thing, I must admit that it is one of my least favourite aspects of being an adult. And don’t be fooled by the “if you find a job you love, you’ll never work a day in your life” nonsense. If you are working for someone else, there will be downfalls. And if you work for yourself, you will work 24/7.
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Handling finances
What also goes hand in hand with being an adult is having to manage your finances. If you are lucky enough, you don’t really need to know what the price of milk is in different stores. You won’t have to think twice about choosing organic, and you may even get to eat out several times a week. Plus, you get to qualify for credit!
However, if you don’t play your cards right, you will end up living pay check to pay check.
Handling finances isn’t the hardest thing to do, but couple that with this unlimited freedom and you could end up drowning. And if you don’t drown, you’ve still got to keep up with the admin. As an adult, I absolutely hate doing my taxes… So much so that my husband does them for me! I also don’t like to pay the bills, and often remember when it is too late. And the school fees? Car maintenances? Ugh…
Honestly, it always feels that no matter how much more you make, there will always be something that dents your finances.
Being an adult means you get to start your own family
Related: I will not apologise for being a working mom
Are you one of those people that gushes over baby pictures? Or perhaps one who loves to watch wedding and proposal videos? If that’s you, I feel you in my spirit. That was pretty much the most exciting part of growing wings for me. Or rather, the perception I had of leaving the nest. Falling in love, having cute babies, traveling the world… What a lovely life I had ahead of me.
Well, dear friends, I hate to burst that bubble. Think about how many selfies you have to take before you post on social media. Then multiply that by each day of the year, because that is how many times you will get it wrong before you get it right. Love is definitely a beautiful thing, but it comes with compromise, patience-testing and self improvement.
Babies are cute, but they get sick, they leave you sleep-deprived, and are expensive. Traveling as a family is fun, but you also have the hassle of coordinating and keeping the little ones entertained.
Take it from me, even the most perfect families have their own issues.
But let’s hear from you. What are some of the most annoying aspects of being an adult? What did you dream it to be?
Pssst! Let’s hang on social media!
First things first, just yesterday, I visited your blog and I was quite worried that you haven’t posted for the longest time. I love the serendipity! Just a day later, you’re writing on a topic that I’ve been thinking about a LOT recently! It’s as if this post was directly addressed to me! I turn 18 in a few weeks and although it doesn’t imply much where I live, it would mean so much in other parts of the world. I love that you highlighted is not all a bed of roses like we imagine. My favourite one was where you compared the selfies taken in a day (and multiply it by each day of a year) to one’s love life. That’s how many times you’d get it wrong. Well, thanks for busting myths that movies create! And the one about babies was accccurate 😵 I don’t feel like an adult and I’m sure I won’t, 3 weeks hence just because I turn 18. I have you to relate to. 😉 Thanks for this post, really needed this! 💖
I love how you highlighted that adult life is not a bed of roses**
Sorry, I somehow missed the words “adult life” there 😅
Aww you’re too sweet! Thanks so much for your feedback and for the telepathy. 😁
It’s very unlike me to not post for so long but sometimes we gotta do what the heart wants! And you’re 18 soon, so exciting! I’ll celebrate your adulthood on my side of the world~ 😅
This side of life isn’t that glamorous, so don’t rush life. If anything, enjoy every single moment you have left till reality hits!
Aww thanks for the beautiful words… 💖
I’m 35 and still don’t feel like I’m doing the whole ‘adult’ thing right. I think you spend a long time envisioning your future based on your desires and dreams and what popular tv shows you and growing up you realise hardly any of those things are easily attainable or realistic. As long as you don’t put pressure on yourself to hit certain milestones just because then it does get easier.
Hahaha this is refreshing! Is there even a right way to do this? I suppose if you’ve stayed alive, haven’t ended up incarcerated and haven’t accidentally put your kid in the oven, you’re in the right path.😅
Haha yes!
Totally agree, buying a home and becoming a parent really moved me from kid status to adulting lol…
I hate cleaning my house lol and as an adult it’s really only up to me or my husband to do it. I love having my own vehicle and going wherever I want and buying whatever I want lol… That’s freedom to me!
Cleaning and doing laundry – both suck! 🙈😭
Hahaha yes!!! I did so much of it as a teen though, so now I despise it
Hahaha it’s the kids isn’t it? I hate cleaning so I do as little of it as possible. If it can be outsourced, then that’s happening. If it can be done by hubby, then that’s what’s happening 🙈
Jokes aside, I think we overlooked all of the tough aspects of adulting when we were kids. Selective imagination!
Hahaha I so get you. But I really don’t like anything about adulting – mainly because I feel like time is passing by and I’m not able to do everything I intend to. 🙈
Oh but yeah – get to eat cake whenever I feel like – best part of adultig. 😁
Moksha, time isn’t passing by~ you’re just doing things in realistic timelines. Everyone’s paths are different and sometimes the roads are longer or shorter. You’ll get there 😉
This age thing is a trap. 🤣 We long to be older for so long because with age means privileges. Then one day we wake up (I’m long past this point at 62) and long to be young again. I’m joking mostly here, but there are times where my wife or I say, “I feel old today.” That is not a good feeling. Then, I remember how lucky we’ve been and I quit feeling sorry for myself.
I also can identify with wanting a nice house, but then having the issue of maintaining it. I never was into material things, but I did want a nice house. Now I spend far too much time fixing things that eventually break down.
Hahah I love your spirit Pete! I keep telling you that you’re younger and more fun than a lot of people I know, and it’s very much true. Material things only last for so long, and we do need to wake up and be realistic. Can you imagine how hard one must work to buy a mansion that they will only occupy a tenth of? It’s kinda insane if you ask me 😅
What I really hate about being an adult is serious decision making, finance is not a problem I learned how to budget my monthly income vs what I have to pay out. Another thing is there’s always something, there’s no day passes by with some bs happening. At least that’s me speaking about myself. Thank you for the honestly girl … some days are ROUGH af
Hahahha you nailed it with the daily bs! It’s like being in a never-ending survivor series, with less obvious obstacles that jump out at you when you’re the weakest. Not cool!
I had this glamorous dream that my adult life would be so much different than how I grew up. I swore I would never make the same mistakes my parents did. I would become pharmacist, get married, buy a house, and have a son and a daughter. Needless to say life doesn’t go as planned. But I am grateful for the life I have because it has taught me so many valuable lessons 🙂
Life never goes as planned for anyone, and unfortunately we have to play the cards we are dealt, but your resilience shows in how amazingly you’re handling yours. In my books, you get an A+ for adulting!
💖💖💖
I feel you on the taxes. I let the husband deal with that. I do keep up with the bills, though.
One thing I do wish was easier is getting insurance. I stayed in a job I didn’t like because the insurance was good. Now that I’m a stay at home mom, good insurance is harder to come by and as a heart patient, I need the insurance.
I do enjoy getting to shop for whatever I want! I’m pretty reasonable when it comes to spending money and will usually give myself a limit that I stick to.
Ya That is think I’m concerning because I’m planing to have my own family and move out. Do you have any tips for us as any issue you pointed out?
I certainly have mixed feelings about adulthood too. I turn 26 next week, and it’s scary to know I’m a year closer to the big 3-0. However, a part of it is also exciting. I’ve finally met someone who I envision as my life partner and by 30, I see us married, living together and starting a family. I should also be finished or close to finishing my post grad training, earning more than I do now and paying mortgage instead of rent. Hopefully I would have a bit more international travel beneath my belt by then too and all those things are exciting concepts. I do hope I’m happy and fulfilled.
Oh wow look at you girl! I’m so happy that things are all falling into place for you~ everyone deserves to find real love 😍
And to be honest, the older you get, things will change, but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad. Plus, you have like 70 more years to travel, so don’t rush anything 😉
I can relate to not feeling like an adult. I remember thinking at like 25, “when will I feel like an adult?” It really hit me at 27 LOL Like, I am not getting any younger. There are definitely ups and downs to being an adult but when I was younger I couldn’t wait to grow up. I wanted freedom and independence. I can definitely relate to this post.