Hey there pretty thing! Welcome to January 1st 2020!
Yeah I thought that opening was pretty weird too because we don’t actually talk like that. Who cares anyway! Life is a bit more complex than the words you choose to use and the clothes you wear. So I’ve decided to write you a letter to prepare you for the year ahead. You know, give you a blast into the future… Or would you call it a look into a crystal ball? Anyways, semantics!
You want some advice on this year that’s coming? Here’s what you gotta do, ok? Take notes in case you forget.
Don’t buy new clothes
Unless you are buying the clothes for your little girl, don’t bother. You won’t really be wearing anything more than a T-shirt most of the time. I know you need new shoes for work, but remember that suitcase full of shoes you gave away? That’s basically what you will end up doing if you buy any more. And the dresses too… You probably won’t wear them this year and by the time next year comes around, you won’t fit into them.
Ha! Did you say you’ll never get that big again? Oh, honey…
Don’t overdo it with the toilet paper
This might sound a little weird since you never really buy so much toilet paper anyway, but there will be a time when you feel compelled to do so. In fact, everyone will be rushing for toilet paper over everything else, but that doesn’t mean it will run out. Rather spend your money on take out… Lot’s of it. For as long as possible. You will miss takeout! Get as much of it as you can and freeze that stuff up because you won’t be allowed to order any cooked food. Don’t ask me why, I have no clue what cooked food has to do with anything that is to come, but it’s definitely going to be a thing.
Be nice to your boss
I know you’re always nice, but I mean be reaaaaally nice. You know, call him a little more often, speak to him about your concerns… It will come in useful at some point because he is very comprehensive! I can’t tell you what’s to come because you probably won’t believe me, but trust me when I say that you will have rough time because of your inability to communicate. Just speak about your concerns and ask for what you need.
Cancel all of your 2020 holiday plans
I know you’ve gotten so accustomed to travelling whenever you want to, but you won’t be able to do that this year. That wedding you were supposed to be a part of… forget it. That trip that would’ve saved your permanent resident status – forget about that too. Don’t panic! Just focus on finding your inner peace and use your imagination for any travel you want to do. Trust me, it’s not just because you’ll be broke. 2020 is going to teach you a whole lot about patience and simplicity! And not doing anything … at all!
Get out of your writing slump. 2020 is your year!
Yeah, you heard that right. I don’t care who told you to stop writing when you were fifteen. Heck, I don’t even know if you know who that was! But let bygones be bygones. This is the year that you become a writer again. You know what’s funny? You won’t actually be able to do anything else! Ha!
Oh and just dive in full force from the get go. There is no point in testing out the waters first. And don’t bother writing about your family… that won’t stick.
Don’t think you’ll escape the wrath of 2020
People always come up with interesting statistics of the one in ‘n’ people that will get some sort of virus or get eaten by zombies. Well, you’ll be the statistic. Ah, the eye roll! I had forgotten that you are used to being the statistic. So yeah, following any sort of guidelines won’t do much for you. Trouble loves you.
You will lose a friend and gain another
You want to know which friend you’re going to lose and why? I don’t know the answer to the ‘why’ just yet, but I can tell you for sure that it will hurt. That wedding you were supposed to go to… yeah… prepare yourself. Buuuuut, you will become friends with another writer! Enjoy it and build that friendship because you never know what it will blossom into!
I see your eyes bulging a little with all of this information, so I’ll stop for now. Just know that whatever comes your way this year, you will be in the comfort of your home and surrounded by loved ones.
You got this, girl!