
I’ve mentioned in “Learning to Love Again” how the rollercoaster called life presented itself to me in the years following my mother’s passing, but it is almost impossible to tap into the progress without mentioning a few things. I say that life “presented itself to me” because looking back it almost feels surreal, like I am watching a movie playing before my eyes. The girl who went through years of depression, begging for love and affection was not who I am today, nor is it someone I truly identify with. There are scars, both physical and emotional, that remind me of how real my experience was and I pray that my little girl never has to feel the way that I once did, but if she does, it is important for her to know that her mom also had ups and downs. Yes, I felt that way. I felt – that is something I remind myself each time the memories of my journey bring shame. Today I accept my journey as something that moulded me into the strong woman I am today.
Little Spawn, one day when I am no longer here, just know that I know how you feel. I have documented every detail of her life and my emotions in the hopes that it will one day reveal to you the depth of the woman who rocked you to sleep.
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Be sure to check out the other parts of the ‘Accepting Grief’ series:
❤️ I am 100% certain she is proud of you!
Brought me to tears! Especially because I have two daughters of my own that I work so hard for, they are the core of my life! And so, I’m afraid to one day go early, because no one can ever love them like I do. Loved this. It’s inspiring! 🙂
I know that feeling all too well… when I was pregnant I made tones of videos for Gabby so she would have something to remember me by when I go… even this blog is mainly for her to have a front row view into how her mom saw life and loved her so much… lol maybe we need therapy!
I lost my Mom less than year ago to pancreatic cancer. She was healthy before then, a church and community leader. Unexpected. Both my kids and I to whom she was and is central have struggled to walk without her. Until we realised that she never left. We miss her. It’s tough sometimes. But she’s with us. Your Mom is with you too, and the cutest Spawn I ever seen. xx
My heart goes out to you… It is never easy losing someone regardless of the circumstances. It’s great to hear that you take comfort in knowing she is with you. She will be there as long as you carry her memories, teachings and love with you <3
Thanks so much xx
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“time does not heal, it simply teaches you how to handle your emotions.”
I really appreciate this and im so sorry that you lost your mom. Im sure it was and still is a struggle for you.
My best friend passed away in 2017, and i remember countless people telling me how time heals and it will get better, but i kept waiting and waiting to feel better and i didnt. You’re so right, we just learn to deal with the emotions. You never heal from something like that.
Thank you for being so open and honest. More people need to talk about death and the impact it has on those left behind. 💕
It’s terrible that you had to go through that 💔 but I’m sure you’ve become a stronger person because of it! Thanks so much for reading and showing love, it wasn’t easy to write The Accepting Grief series because tapping into those emotions was just overwhelming…
Im sure they were! But you have done such a great service to your readers going through something similar! So thank you for that!
thanks for sharing such a hard topic. Losing a parent is definitely one of the hardest things that anyone can get through. The fact that you were able to that is a testament to your inner strength.
That really means a lot to me <3 Thanks for your kind words!