In case you haven’t noticed, the blog has undergone yet another change. This time, the change is ever so subtle that it could’ve been missed. Thursdays have now become “creative Thursdays”, a time to shy away from structure and SEO, and just let the creative juices flow. Last week, we had a guest post by a good friend of mine, and this week we have yet another guest poster gracing the blog – my husband. Hope you enjoy the food for thought!
Guest post by Nuno Da Silva

(What women go through – A man’s perspective)
I first started thinking about this when there were protests in India about a woman who was raped, and killed, while she was taking the bus home. Then came the campaign to get back the girls that were abducted in Nigeria, culminating in the #MeToo movement.
I’m a man, I try to be as understanding and considerate as possible, so I joined these movements, as best as I could. I joined the marches, joined in conversations, even changed my profile picture. Then… nothing happens. I’m a man, and because of that I can never fully understand, I don’t get it.
We make a joke or pass a comment about a woman and she completely overreacts, except she doesn’t. I no longer believe that people can overreact, I believe that I just can’t see everything they’re reacting to.
Well, what’s the problem?
Its a lingering glance that goes on just long enough to make you feel unsafe. It’s that inappropriate joke or a passing things off as that time of the month. It’s having to worry about someone feeling justified to say something, or do something, because of your clothing. Be passed over for a promotion that should’ve been yours. All things that on their own seem small, things that I don’t have to deal with as a man.
Even though all of these actions and situations are small, and seem insignificant, they still have weight. They don’t just happen once in a while. These things, small and light on their own, get added to you every single day. Before you know it the weight you carry, the weight that’s been piled on to you, becomes a boulder. But you’re strong, you fight to push through, you can carry that weight. The problem is that people continue to add to your boulder, and you have to carry it every single day. Magazines, movies and music also pile on, and you get to the point where you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world.
And the outcome?
When a person is carrying that much weight they will always reach a point when they can’t take it anymore, their strength is at its limit, it’s not possible, so when something gets added and everything boils over. No person can, or should, carry the weight of the world.
I cannot understand what it’s like to be a woman, I don’t carry that weight. But what I can do is realise that you are carrying a lot, and stop adding to the weight. To do what I can to lift the burden even if it’s just a pebble. But this is something I cannot do alone, this is the weight of the world after all, and that’s the point. The weight of the world becomes easier to carry when we’re all lifting together*.
(Inspired by ‘End of YoRha from NieR: Automata)
Also by Nuno: The Power of Music
What a great man your Husband is Shelly <3
Wow. That is really insightful. Thanks Shelly and Nuno.
“Even though all of these actions and situations are small, and seem insignificant, they still have weight.”
I’ve been working on a post for International Women’s Day and this really sums up a lot of what I was thinking as I wrote.
Thanks Michelle! I’m very excited to read your post now that you’ve given this teaser! 😊
I wish more men was this understanding.
First, I love this series idea – writing whatever your heart wants! 🙂
Second – it is so nice to know a man’s perspective and that too such a positive one. Not a lot of men are very considerate about what women go through. With a lot of my close friends also – I’ve had disagreements because asking for equality for women to them just feels like women are asking for “special treatment”. *sigh*
That rape case in India happened in my city when I was in college and on the same bus route I used to take to college. I was terrified of taking the bus for months after that.
Great post – looking forward to reading more posts by your hubby! 🙂
Thanks hun! He will def be back with some more wisdom. I just have to find the right bribe!😅
Funny enough, the no structure vibe is basically what my blog was meant to be, but somewhere along the lines it morphed into what it is today.
Gosh that’s such a scary experience and to have to actually continue to live life as though nothing happened… 😖 no human can do that! Have you overcome it now?
This is very sweet, positive and insightful 👏👏👏
Thanks for reading Vani 💖
Your husband is marvelous Shelly. For a man who says he knows not what it means to be a woman he knows what it means to not be a woman. And being aware of that has made him see the world through different eyes. 🙂
Thanks Jay, that’s very sweet of you! And yes, he is a keeper 😅
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤓💜
Great collaborations both of you!
Loved this line which is so true and sensitive:
” To do what I can to lift the burden even if it’s just a pebble. But this is something I cannot do alone, this is the weight of the world after all, and that’s the point. The weight of the world becomes easier to carry when we’re all lifting together*. 👏👏👏👏
Thanks Cindy! 💖 It’s so true yet nearly impossible to achieve. I look at things like the OPEC+ agreement and see that people are capable of working together, but will we ever? What I loved about this post was that he didn’t pretend to know how it feels, but acknowledged that things are different for men and women.
You’re so welcome Shelly.
You raise more good points than we have answers for unfortunately Shelly. I loved his sensitivity!
❤️
I loved this Collab, it’s so nice to hear it from a different perspective. More of this pls? ❤️
Hahah thanks hun! I’ll just have to find more ways to bribe him into writing, then he’ll make another appearance 😅
“The weight of the world becomes easier to carry when we’re all lifting together.* It sure does. Thanks to your hubby for his perspective.
Exactly. I just wrote something about empathy, and what your husband wrote shows what it can look like. You may not always understand what someone is going through, but you can try and also explicitly work toward not adding to the burden.
Thanks for the kind words hun <3
“The weight of the world becomes easier to carry when we’re all lifting together”. 💯👏
This was such a beautiful read.
Thanks hun 💖 Appreciate the support!