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  1. Kanwaldeep Kaur says

    You’ve struck the right chord Shelly! The best article I’ve read in a long time! I agree that people don’t have the right to judge, because they never walked our path! But what I’ve also learned over the years as a parent is that “No matter what, everyone will judge”! I’ve been judged for being a working mom (the reason is clear, not giving time to baby), also judged for being a stay at home mom (that I couldn’t balance my career and baby so gave up), and also as a work at home mom (she can do better than this)! So, my point is , I chose to be each one of these kind of moms when I felt like I needed to, but still was judged (sometime by the same people 🤦‍♀️). So I guess I’ve learnt to be deaf towards whoever is trying to make me a better mom or judging me for being one! Life is better if such people stop taking space in your head! More power to you! You are a wonderful mom 😊

    • Shelly DS says

      Thanks a lot hun, you’re making me blush! You are so right in saying that people will always judge. It’s very sad to think that anyone actually believes they get a say in what’s right for ourselves and our families. It’s great you’ve learnt to deal with it… I thought I was also deaf to such comments but clearly need to empty out my bottle of emotions! Aaaargh 🥴

    • Shelly DS says

      Aww thanks so much for taking the time to read this and give feedback! As mothers we get so much backlash and yet are expected to have enough patience to listen and be silent… I hope that you’ve been able to deal with the comments better than I have 🙈

  2. justmommyingja says

    I will not apologize! My role as a mom comes first! If I drop down dead I can easily be replaced in the workplace but my daughter only gets one momma! Loved this article!

    • Shelly DS says

      <3 Absolutely! I find it very strange when people expect me to drop my mommy duties for something that is not critical… I guess priorities are different for everyone.

  3. Josephine Nerissa Leão Panzo says

    It’s sad how people forget that we work to live and not live to work – it makes us incapable of remembering what our real priorities are and takes away from our humanity. I am glad you’ve chosen to stand your ground and be assertive about what you really think matters.

    • Shelly DS says

      Very well said! I do think though that everyone’s priorities are different and we need to learn to respect that. I wish people would show the same curtesy.

  4. Hilary Tan says

    I also have a toddler. Wow – we seem to share a lot in common. When I was pregnant I had severe anemia and blood loss and almost needed a blood transfusion 😐 It’s been years since I’ve worked and I’m still trying to figure it the career thing. I get a lot of flack for being a stay-at-home mom.

    • Shelly DS says

      Yay, twinning!
      Gosh, the anemia and blood loss must not have been fun! Being a stay at home is NOT bad at all, in fact I would give anything to be one myself and focus on things I truly love (blogging, exercise, etc) I think you should enjoy this time with your little one and forget what everyone else says because at the end of the day they don’t pay your bills 😉

  5. Krisna says

    I am yet to go back to work. I’m still on mat leave and enjoying my time with my little one but I can only imagine how tough it is to be a working mom! I’m also really concerned about going back to work and having to leave my kid in daycare because of fear that he will get sick a lot.

    • Shelly DS says

      Thanks again for reading Krisna! It won’t be easy, but just remember why you’re working in the first place. Also, these are professionals who will stimulate your baby in ways that you probably aren’t, so it’s better for his development. If you still aren’t sure and don’t need to work, take more time and enjoy him because he’s only gonna be small for a little while 💖

      • Krisna says

        That’s true, that’s a really good point. I’m still on leave for another several months so at least I don’t have to worry about that for a little while. 😆

  6. stephaniesurjan says

    Very heartfelt. The expectations that woman should continue as nothing ever happened is sometimes too infrequently discusses.

    Also it sounds like to me that you have a very stressful and demanding job where the office culture is little but desirable. I hope you can find a new job where you are respected for having a life outside of work.

    XoXo

    • Shelly DS says

      Thanks for your kind words hun 💖 As cut throat as it is, I’m not yet ready to leave my job to work for someone else. Maybe one day this blog will let me work for myself 😉

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