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  1. Michelle (Boomer Eco Crusader) says

    I refuse to like this post. It is hard to balance all the demands on you but I learned (the hard way) over time that working yourself to death is not the answer. Sadly, for me, it took a life threatening illness for me to learn to set boundaries. A very wise person once told me “If I dropped dead tomorrow, this company would replace me, but my family can’t.” Those words have stayed with me ever since. Please look after yourself Michelle. You are irreplaceable. 💚

    • Shelly DS says

      Thanks Michelle! It’s a cycle I found myself falling into each time I started at a new school and then later with each new role in the working environment. The main difference is that I realize that my circumstances in life are different now and I need to break this cycle. It shall change, I’ll make sure of it!

  2. Aditya says

    Shelly, my condolences with you.🙏
    I know how difficult and painful it is to losing parents because they are meant to everything (world) to us. 7 yrs. ago my mom left this world. Now I’m 24 who became more sensible than other boys at this stage of age.

    Life is a journey and we have to ride this no matter how difficult it brings.

    Tough times don’t lasts long, but tough people do.

  3. beth says

    it’s incredibly important for you (and your family), that you find a way to head toward a work/life balance. I know, easier said than done, but just like you as a daughter, your child would probably rather have you present more than having more things or money.

    • Shelly DS says

      Absolutely! I didn’t even realize that I was comparing myself as a daughter vs my daughter having a mom that’s working all the time. I’ll find a balance!

  4. manitobamomblog says

    I can remember reaching a similar point in my life. It was difficult for me to leave a job behind that I never dreamed I’d be able to have. But I did, and I don’t regret it. That doesn’t mean it’s easy. I don’t know if I will ever be able to reach fulfillment career-wise. But I’ve enjoyed the time with my kids, spent more time writing, and even take naps once in awhile. I pray that you will find the path that is best for yourself and your family.

    • Shelly DS says

      I love this! Time spent with family really is more important, and I recognize that. As soon as I finished writing the post, I slid into bed with my toddler who woke me up before 6 and we’ve been playing since. 😁

  5. petespringerauthor says

    I struggled with this challenge my entire career, Shelly. Even when it was supposed to be my downtime, I was thinking about school. Even when I took a rare day off, my mind was thinking about what needed to be done. I typically went in half of Saturday just to get caught up with all of the things I didn’t get to during the week. On top of that I was trying to be a good husband, father, friend, etc. Eventually, it all caught up with me. I was heading for a heart attack if I didn’t finally start taking care of myself. I retired three years earlier than I planned, but it was the best thing I ever did. My physical and mental health have improved a ton. I loved my career and would do it all over again with one change—to take care of myself as well as I did my students. Try, try, try to find that balance.

  6. Anonymous says

    Absolutely love this, Shelly, it’s the most relatable content for the stage of life I feel I’m in, and I’m glad to know we all feel those moments sometimes. The feelings of guilt for not working (even when you should be on leave), and of inadequacy if you don’t keep pushing at 110% 24/7, often drives us to throw the “work life balance” notion out of the window. I’m not even sure what it is that we’re chasing, because “approval” and “recognition” seems quite rare, or at least not enough relative to the effort put in. Soon, you’ll find yourself building the equivalent of the Taj Mahal all alone, to “impress” people who lay back on a beach chair watching you work, without a finger lifted to help in sight. It affects one’s mental health, one’s happiness, and honestly takes one so far away from reality that one forgets what “normal” treatment should be. I’m all for hard work, especially when you’re young and hungry, but when you look in the mirror & see your job staring back, something needs to change…Hang in there, Shelly, you’re not alone ♡

  7. Happy Panda says

    In my first job I had this very wise senior – who saw me struggling with keeping up with the long hours and weekends of work. (I was working as a management consultant – so the hours were bad. I was also preparing for MBA entrances alongside – which meant I was hardly getting any off time or even sleep time.) Anyhow, this senior was a very chill senior and he told me that he lives by two rules that I should also consider adopting –
    1. Work only that much that your salary always seems more. I know this is a hard rule to live by but I did follow this to an extent in my next job (the job you know about).
    2. Once you are out of office, work does not exist. I think this one is harder to follow in the work from home situation. But setting boundaries at work is really important.

    I followed these rules in my last job and found that they made my work bearable, if not enjoyable. I understand that money is important but if you set boundaries at work, nothing bad really happens. Worst case scenario your growth at work might be stunted, but is that really that bad? It’s the rat race that keeps us thinking that growing faster is better. Growing at your own pace while you also enjoy the rest of your life is the best. I actually postponed my promotion by a year because I didn’t want to settle for a bad role and it was the best decision ever.
    Sorry if that was A LOT of advice. Looking forward to seeing you back here and on YouTube.❤️❤️

  8. LoseWeightWithAng says

    Hi Shelly! I can relate. Between blogging and working fulltime, I rarely find the time to have a life. I’ve noticed lately how much I’m missing out on, so I’ve scaled back on my blogging quite a bit. I don’t regret it, either. Thinking of you 💜

    • Shelly DS says

      That’s amazing! I’m glad you’ve scaled down and made time for yourself. It’s not easy doing it all and we have to remember that living life is way more important than being behind a screen or working to make others richer. 😉

  9. Rochelle | Adventuresfromelle says

    I’m so sorry you feel this way but sadly you are not alone. So many people live like this. I recently moved in with my boyfriend this year and I made the personal decision to stop doing as many overnight shifts so I can have more time at home and to go on dates or have quiet nights in. Previously, I’d do 1-2 overnight shifts for 30-32hrs then just come home and crash till the next day until my alarm woke me up for work. I’m earning less now as a result but I’m happier and my mental health is better. I hope you find a better work-life balance soon. Take care!

  10. Shelly DS says

    Oooh exciting! Congrats on the big step. I’m so glad you’re making the most out of your time with your boyfriend rather than prioritizing money. Life is way too short!

I'd love to read your thoughts on this!

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