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  1. Olivia says

    I have so many friends and people I know that consistently let their relationships consume them. It’s really so sad to see. They forget about their friends and family and the that are important to them and invest their time in their relationship only.

    I have lost so many friends because of this and some have never recovered. You need to remember that you still need other relationships in order to keep going. You can’t expect your partner to be everything you need rolled up into one!

    Such a good post Shelly. Keep up the good work 👍🏻💛

    Olivia | https://olivialucieblake.com

  2. Michelle (Boomer Eco Crusader) says

    Wow. This is such a wise post Shelly. “if he hasn’t put a ring on it, you should not pretend like there is one there.” Love that. I am always saddened by the stories my daughter tells me about her friends and co-workers and what they put up with in their “relationships”. These kids are teenagers and the girls let these guys walk all over them and treat them like crap. I am proud that both my girls are stubborn and headstrong. (Hmmm…wonder where they get that from 😂) My younger daughter, in particular, doesn’t put up with any crap from anyone. I hope she stays that way.

    • Shelly DS says

      Thanks Michelle! Your daughters sound like they were raised by some very level-headed parents! I’m sure your youngest will stay that way… it’s all about the values you’ve taught her that are clearly present!

  3. Hilary Tan says

    I see so many people who can’t maintain a long-term relationship if their lives depended on it. They seem to have a new squeeze every month or so…. seriously, what’s up with that? My theory is shiny object syndrome…. they chase boys/girls, act desperate, get the shiny object (partner). But then the relationship gets “too real” or too boring and life happens. The honeymoon phase does down. Before you know it, they’re single again 🙄

    I’ve tried hook-ups in the past but that phase was very short-lived. I quickly learned not to tolerate it and to set my expectations a little higher. I completely agree that he needs to put a ring on it, especially if he plans to have kids. Boyfriends and girlfriends having kids out of wedlock makes me face-palm 🤦‍♀️ Even if marriage means signing the papers and getting married in a courthouse, it’s still a lot better than not being married at all. Marriage and kids take work, and I feel like people are afraid of being responsible for someone other than themselves. I also think that they fear long-term commitment.

    • Shelly DS says

      You sound like you got mature very early on! I also don’t think it’t too wise to have kids without being married because raising kids is such a serious committment that should not be taken on by people who aren’t truly committed to doing life together. But things happen.

      • Hilary Tan says

        I was a late bloomer. Didn’t date until I was 21, but when I did there was no stopping me 😂 Things do happen, but I still think marriage is the right thing to do. I was pregnant on my wedding day and honestly I have no regrets. Prior to that, I had a miscarriage. We were engaged and had planned to get married. Despite all that, I’ve been with him for 8 years and married for 4.5 years!

        Relationships are a big commitment. I can tell when someone isn’t committed – they likely have unsolved personal issues and baggage from their past. And with every relationship, we bring more and more baggage into the next relationship. It also makes it easier to settle and harder to spot good partners when people can’t see the forest for the trees, or have given the trees a chance to grow.

  4. LoseWeightWithAng says

    Such great advice! I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum where I end relationships too soon rather than trying too hard to keep the guy happy. As soon as I’m not happy, I end it, without even trying to fix what may be wrong. It’s something I need to work on 😅

    Ang |https://loseweightwithang.com

  5. Lady B says

    This is great advice, Shelly. Unfortunately, most of us hear things and let it go in one ear and out of the other, until it’s too late. I hope someone takes heed to your message. It’s very valuable information here!

  6. PoojaG says

    NEVER EVER IGNORE RED FLAGS!! I did that so much in my first few relationships and it was always a mistake because the red flags always turned into bigger issues. If you feel like something is wrong it probably is.

  7. justcalmwildness says

    ‘It should be common sense that if you are with someone that makes you resort to childish antics, the relationship probably isn’t doing much for your growth. By the same token, you are not adding value to your person’s life by acting like a two-year-old.’

    I love this.

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